Men are made to be macho, drunkard and be irresponsible. Buying grocery is not one of them. So many types of dhals and rice varieties. They all look same like Chinese girls. I took photos of dhalls and named Pigeon pea as Priyanka Chopra, Chickpea as Deepika Padukone, Moong dhall as Madhuri likewise and kept in my purse. Now confusion and actresses’ photo remains in my purse! The society gobbles all leaves in some name or the other and my brain gets short circuited. I could never distinguish any green except banana leaf. Selecting the vegetables is a headache. Some are to be scratched, some are to be broken and some are to be bitten. If no test marks are found on the vegetables, husbands would be scratched, broken and bitten in their houses. In the departmental stores, I always get baskets without a handle or trolley with a broken wheel. As a result I always carry the basket on my hip or head like porter. Genetically modified vegetables are coming to markets like tomato with fish gene. If this “Fishtato” is born to tomato and fish, Is it Veg or Non veg? Next they may invent cow carrot, pig potato, dog onion. Further they may add human genes as well. If a brinjal were to be born with my gene, Will it be my son? or Will I be it’s mother? Exotic vegetables like red cabbage, yellow capsicum and small potatoes threaten mortals like me. For quite some time, I thought they were plastic and kept for decoration. So many vegetables. Still Tamilians make two buckets of Sambar to last for three days with drumstick or radish only. All those who go abroad carry a container of rice and drumstick. You can feed USA for one month with that amount of rice. Bargaining with the vendor is another tricky thing. But women are the Gods of bargain. They could bargain with Lord Yama to bring their husband’s life back. If they go out with hundred rupees to purchase, they will bring goods worth of Rs.100 and return with a balance of Rs.50/-. They can bargain for hours to beat down the price and the vendor some times. The word “shopping” makes jingles music to wives’ ears and siren to husband’s ears. If a man likes the first shirt, he will pack and go home. If a woman likes the first saree, she will keep it separate, check the remaining 999 sarees and 99 nearby shops before packing it. scientists have proved that shopping helps wives to reduce depression. Morticians have proved that shopping of wives increases the depression of husbands. In those days women used to throng the vendors who come on the streets for selling things. Ladies used to surround them and bargain. It’s for sharpening their skills. It’s like match practice for taking on their “would be” husbands and mothers-in-laws. If one buys a 1000 rupees saree for Rs.240, her victory parade would start to all the nearby homes. Most of the vendors are men is an advantage to women. Mars will melt in front of Venus. One vendor near my house will give free tomatoes if a lady buys Curry leaves. If I buy tomatoes, he would tell the rate in dollars. nline shopping has come as a blessing for people like me. I can do shopping without bathing and wearing “only” lungy. Can see any number of items and leave. No one will scold “Saavu Kiraaki”. So my life is at ease like Modiji’s in the second term….
