Ashoka the 2nd

War With Watermelon…

War With Watermelon…


War with Watermelon ..

                                     

While the World is confused whether watermelon is fruit or vegetable, I was confused how to choose a good watermelon.  Buying the right one is nowadays more difficult than finding a man who doesn’t advise in Whatsapp. 

I had never bought a good, reddish and tasty watermelon. I was always goaded, admonished and reprimanded by my family for selecting them as yellowish as a Pumpkin. (Can’t you even pick one small watermelon?) In order to avoid this onslaught, I had to find a way.  I decided to catch the bull by its horns. [1]

I daily bought one watermelon to hone my skills. After all it was a war between watermelon and me.  So “Operation Watermelon” began.  I hit the books as the LAST resort as I always do during my academic days !  I found some interesting ways of choosing a watermelons  like…

Knocking the watermelon for the RIPE sound…

I knocked to check them with crooked finger. They all sounded same like tapping my pot belly. But I kept knocking till the shopkeeper told “No one will come out, don’t waste your time”.  Still with the sound I heard, I selected one. Score read 1-0 in favour of watermelon.

Looking for small joints… 

The joint where the watermelon was severed has to be small. I followed it to the book.  I ensured that even the shopkeeper was small.  Still the bloody watermelon was white like custom uniform i.e bit yellowish.  Score 2-0 in favour of “you know who”. (Don’t waste money and time, I will get it from the shop)

Watermelon must be darkish green and yellowish at the place where it laid on the ground…

I carefully followed the rules.  Later I was told that it was a hybrid. (Don’t you even know the difference between the country watermelon and hybrid!!)   Score 3-3. Ok I got it.  3-0.

Watermelon must have large stripes like zebra… 

I tried stripes, checked and printed. But the watermelon remained plain. 

As my maid was getting one watermelon daily, she was using it for facial, playing and eating. She encouraged me to try other fruits as well!

Many of the watermelons I handpicked were having wide cracks inside.  On seeing that my family was afraid that I was about to poison them.  The condition of the watermelon was called “hollow heart” but I was broken heart.  (How one crack gets another crack, we don’t know)  [2].

          In order to win this, I befriended a shopkeeper and offered 10 rupees extra so that he would select the best one for me. Thereafter it was success all the way and I am being applauded as the best selector of watermelon. 

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