Ashoka the 2nd

TITBIT

                               

Some of my daily bickering on my facebook page is given for enlightening the common public, eradication of poverty and education of youth…

Doubt Corner

How come Private companies helpline/complaint nos. come in fancy number for reminding you easily like 8888888888 or 68886888 while Govt helplines come in 7_89#26*9^ ?Night Vision
Some one told me to count the goats if I don’t get sleep. There are 19 goat breeds and 67000 goats in Tamil Nadu. I have counted all of them.   Yet to sleep.
Daily I sleep with my son at night. I feel like swallowed & spat by anaconda in the mornings. Full body pain and wet!
Wetness isn’t saliva of course !!  Any guess?!

Women’s era…
Every husband must be like Modi ji. Ready to fall at women’s feet if one can get some mileage.  I am clocking 100 km pl.

Philosophy corner…
In Whatsapp When I write something on my right side people view them on their left side. When they type something on them right side, I view them on my left side.
Similarly when God does something good for us, we may perceive it wrong. It will take time to realise God’s true intention. Don’t trust your knowledge. Trust God.

Issued in public Interest…
Today I saw a beautiful girl wearing 4,5 mangal sutras in her neck. I was bit shocked and wondered if it was the latest trend and looked again i.e the mangal sutras. I was relieved to see that the girl was wearing her company ID in a yellow rope that was shredded. So please bloody companywallas don’t give yellow rope to the girls to hang (!).  Give them some other colour ropes.

Today’s thought….
Drinking a bottle of chilled water after a strenuous workout feels like heaven. Its like confessing to wife when she is in good mood. When both backfires, the elegy begins.

House Order No. 11
As the holiday granted on account of International Women’s day is over, all husbands are instructed to join the house for regular duties and to remain submissive and obedient as ever.
Next leave from wives may be granted to the lucky few during Summer holidays and to the rest in Tamil “Aadi” month.

Home Intolerance…
Unlike our villages, It seems impossible to get a maid in these metros. My wife placed many conditions similar to Army recruitment. Maid has to be punctual, Orderly, must do the job cleanly, should not gossip, not to demand more likewise.
My condition was only one and simple one.  “she has to be pretty”.  It was never met.

Doubt Corner….
I think all Sriharikota rockets and satellites are linked with fiber optic cables through our street or another Harappa site is found here. They keep digging and digging. When we reach the other end, Tamil Nadu will fight for water with America as well.

Curse Continues…
UPSIDC branch of State Bank of India (SBI) in Kanpur has credited over Rs 95,000 cr into a poor woman’s bank account making her panicky- News.
I am also going and coming to SBI branch with Rs.2000 as balance. I don’t know why these bad things never happen to me and make me PANICKY!!

# WWF Champs
Women are loving, caring, self sacrificing, gentle and awesome given the role of sister, daughter, wife and mother. Give them the role of MOTHER IN LAW, well they are in a different league altogether.

Office agonies…
In any department, smokers mingle like rum and water and become long last brothers immediately. We are the only aliens who could neither mingle nor separate. After all Smoking causes friendship.

Confusion Corner…
Last year I paid Rs.10200/- and brought academic books for my children. Today I sold them to old paper man for Rs.200. Remaining 10’000 I wanted to credit in my children’s knowledge account. But my son insists to show them in wastage account. He must be right.

Queue thoughts…
Whatsapp and Facebook reduce the length of queue, wherever we stand.

Doubt corner…

*   When Indians complete air travel, Why do they never remove the baggage destination tag till reaching their remote hometown? Do they ever remove it or always carry them around till it wears off?
*   Why do we celebrate the Indians who achieved some thing big in a foreign country, when they had already left Madame India, obtained foreign citizenship and settled elsewhere? Our press finds out that their father’s 2nd grandmother was Indian.
*   If plucking a white hair from the head produces more white hairs, Will plucking a black hair prop up more black hair?
*   The Impending fall of low hip pants is more dangerous to the wearing men or watching women?


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