The five days crash course on parade for Republic Day was happily concluded on Jan 26. Being the Parade Commander, I put in my best efforts sincerely and had developed a few more friends who are now happy to send me back to Kolkata. This Parade consisted of the most difficult contingent I have ever trained. At the end of the crash course, I “passed out” as I had developed all type of pains like physical strain and mental drain except labour pain. I still don’t know whether I paraded them or they paraded me. I have even developed a seventh sense called ‘nonsense”. The ironies felt were…
1. They came in white uniform if you agree milky white, vanila white and ujaala white are the same with wrinkles as in the face of English bull dog.
2. One person came to the parade with more hair than my wife.
3. Many came from docks night duty with bloodshot eyes and my first thought was to to hug and cry as I myself went after airport night duty.
4. Some wore the name tab and brooch on the opposite sides but the award went to the one who wore the epaulettes in the opposite direction.
5. Many were of my father’s age and I was confused whether to call out “Parade Sowthan” or “Parents Sowthan”. When they walked to the beat, earth dithered, music drums tremored and the contingent actually shivered.
6. My first whole day went on explaining which is ‘dhainey’ (right) and ‘baye’ (left). But When I gave the command to turn, they always turned to all sides and settled like Navagraha statues in Siva temple. Second day when I went there, for a second, I wondered whether I had gone to the adjoining Collector Office as the whole contingent was different as I used to get new contingents daily. Again I went on to preach left, right, north, South. As they always had doubts on right turn and left turn. I made it simple. While going to Flag post only Right turn was given and while coming back only Left turn. And it worked.
7. The tapping sound on the command Sowthan never came together and ultimately I had to tell them to stamp their feet without a single sound. And We got it together!
8. They were so patriotic. When the “Salami Sasth” was given they automatically saluted along with me. As only the Commander has to salute and all others are to remain in attention, I had to beg them to stop saluting. Except that they were consistently inconsistent.
9. When they marched even the Chief Guest held his breath.
10. When the flag hoisting was success, My Parade in charge wanted to recommend my name for “Bharath Ratna”. I politely declined.
At least they got their independence from me. As I am appointed as the permanent Parade Commander, I am waiting for mine.