In this fast-food world, history also repeated within a week. Again Chennai was mourning for former PM Vajpayee and the roads were less crowded. Once bitten twice shy. So today morning itself, I checked my phone for any holiday.There were two messages from friends.
First one stated…”See State Govt has given full day leave whereas Central Govt has given half day leave only. So we are twice efficient than you are”. Govt employee and efficiency !!I replied that twice the zero is not two zeroes. It is also zero”
Second message stated that “Arey yar! Don’t go to office today and start crying in your blog again. I think Vajpayee sir must have read your last one and died.”
I quietly opened my office whatsapp group and checked if anyone discussed about my holiday. Last time some came to the office. When they were teased in whatsapp group about their presence, they uploaded their images by sitting in the office. It was also teased as the images could have been taken earlier. So this time I expected our colleagues to record a dance video from office like “Ki Ki Challenge” and post it in group. I thought of advising pregnant ladies, weak hearted people and old people not to open office whatsapp group if dance videos were uploaded as they could kill you. If you have doubt, Check Chitra kajal in Musically app. People get fits, become lunatics and die as well after seeing her dance videos.
My son leaning on the chair asked me “Even State Government is partial to BJP”. I turned and asked “How come?”. He quipped “Why didn’t they give leave to us when Somnath Chatterjee died?” I was thinking how to answer. He again asked “On whose death, will you be given full day leave? I told ” May be for Mallya or Nirav Modi.” Again he asked “Who would be the next senior leader for getting us holiday?
I left my house in a hurry to Custom House. Same Sepoy was standing at the gate but this time he didn’t tell “Sir Smriti Sthal is on that side”. He opened and let me in. I heard him saying “Sir always come first da if anyone dies” making me a “funeral arranger”.
Today I had cajoled, pleaded and managed to get lunch. So, I entered the office flaunting my lunch bag on my back. Further I was armed with food upto my teeth this time. Lunch, biscuits, Fruits and Gurkha whistle. I called my friend Ramesh and asked whether crow had taken chapati and if not could he bring it to office? He replied “Don’t worry. I have made for you too”. (These north indians make chapatis so soft like dosa. When we make, it comes out harder than MRF tyre)
My favourite biometric machine was occupied by others. So I tried nearby two machines. They showed x-ray of my face and declined to recognise. I returned to my favourite machine and registered my attendance. I thought they also had ruling and opposition parties. Like Aadhar Challenge, I want to challenge the hackers “Do you have the guts to crack our biometric machines? PLEASE! Office attendance was maximum! That was the funny thing about Govt offices. They would put left indicator, show right hand but not move a single inch. You can never understand them.
Last time it was working day but nobody was present. Today half day leave was given and everyone was present. Queue was there in the biometric, queue was there in the canteen and queue was there in the restroom as well. Some staff had come with their family too. They must have stopped to mark their attendance on their way to mall. I expected a deserted house but here it was houseful.
Feeling depressed, I sat in the chair and thought constructively like “Engineers use Er symbol, Doctors use Dr symbol and Lawyers use neckband logo in their cars”. What can a customs officer use? Officers in airport can use HMD (hand metal detector) and at docks can use container as their logo!! What could be the common symbol? I thought till lunch and it was time to leave.
They were closing the doors and corridors were deserted at the noon time itself! Slowly I came down thinking “Will I have to write third one in a row?