A day like Sherlock Homes… 
🕵️♂️
A lady must have invented inspection when her husband was his subordinate. This has spread everywhere like Musically Chitra Ghajal’s fame.
When it was decided to visit airport for inspection by Chief Commissioner Office, Customs, the “Detective” inside me woke up and started chest thumping like Gorilla. I had always been at the receiving end of inspection teams arranging refreshments. Its my turn now.
A handful of elite, smartest, brightest etc etc Officers were selected to bear the baton of CC Office. We were subjected to rigorous physical and medical examinations. Physical test involved staying awake for 4 hours straight and medical test involved staying away from drinking 10 cups of Siva’s tea. Siva is our tea(m) man who provides a cup of tea every hour and one tea in between. Only married officials were selected in the team as married men are habituated to undergo interview and married women in conducting the interview.
To be a successful in any inspection, one must know about one’s team members thoroughly. So I learnt who all don’t eat samosa, have sugar and pass on their samosas and sweets to others.
What is inspection? An inspection is nothing but unearthing the lacunae which the Officers trying to hide so that it could be hidden better and never found again.
There are three “R” in any inspection. Responsibility, Resolution and Reverence to work. I got all. So one day before the inspection, I approached my boss and asked…
I : Are we going to airport for checking the Kuruvis sir?
Boss : No, DRI will do that.
I : Are we going for checking the officers ?
Boss : No, CBI will do that.
I : Are we going to check airport bathrooms then ?
Boss : No. Airport Authority will do that.
I : Then, why are we going Sir ?
Boss : We are going for airport inspection.
I : Oh! Understood. We are going to check the beautiful
crews.
Boss : No, their Vigilance Section will do that.
I : Then why are we going?
Boss : We are going for airport inspection.
I looked at my boss and left. As I was coming out, my boss shouted “Don’t tell anyone why we are going to airport for inspection!”.
Later I came to know that we were going to inspect files only. Files or Piles! I was happy to escape from bio-metric attendance and my daily work i.e answering RTI applications. The reason is…
Nowadays my Office queue for bio-metric attendance stands upto nearby collector office. At this rate we may have to build cubicles like in Tirupati Tirumala temple and send officials one by one. “Jaruhandi, Jaruhandi”.
Secondly these anti-Indians are asking all type of questions in RTI forum.
(i) How to make soft idly Manchurian?
If you return the application, they question “Why didn’t you send my application to the concerned department as per so and so rule?”
If you tell “Don’t know”, they question “Do you Customs Officers work at least sometimes? Say Yes or No” as per so and so rule.
(ii) Did Vijayashanti underwent training when She acted in Telugu movie “Customs Officer?”
(iii) How to grow hair on the bald head?
I geared up and took bath also. While talking about bath, I wish to express my anguish that…
People in states like Assam and Bengal where water is abundant bath once a week or month. So is it advisable to bath daily in a water scarcity place like Chennai? People must wake up. I am tired of bathing daily. It seems like I bathed yesterday only and again its time. Modi ji has to pass a rule that how many times Tamilians at Chennai must take bath in a week. Tamil culture has already so many baths like oil bath, stream bath, sun bath and now added to the list is mann ki bath as well.
When I entered airport, I was nostalgic for a moment. This is where I spent my best years of service without doing any work. Each and every chair can tell a lot about my butt. When my boss allotted offices to inspect, I told “I will check Duty Free Shop and authenticate the quality of liquor sir. My boss told “No, I will look into that. You should have been enlightened for that.” So I asked how to attain enlightenment. My Boss told “You have to distil your thoughts, brew good memories and peg away from desire. Now go and take care of our refreshments. R for refreshment too!” Yet again Sherlock Homes was sent for catering.
The airport was calm. we entered. The End. As the team grilled and drilled the office bearers, I too noted my observations. The changes were visible to my trained eyes. How the ground crew girls had put on weight, how the kuruvis had reduced in number and how DFS had added new varieties of booze. The day flew.
About Inspection….
My Boss told me not to reveal anything…