This was written when I was in Kolkata Customs.
1. Names are easy to remember (!) here. Half the persons are Bose/Das and the remaining are Banerjee/Chatterjee.
2. Foot path is for hawkers. If possible, you can walk also. 2 lakh people are boarding and lodging in the foot paths. No rent, no power, no free space and no hygiene. If you dare to ask them what is hygiene, they will tell it as a new brand of jeans.
3. Buildings are as old as Santa Claus. Seriously if an earth quake epicenters in Kolkata, half the city will be wiped out in seconds. I am planning to move to foot path.
4. All trees are occupied by Chai wala or Kali madha. Here tea is served in mud pots. When I asked a chai wala about it, he explained me for five minutes why it is hygiene and how it will not burn my fingers. He was right. I burnt my lips.
5. State hobby is spitting. They spit, Spit and SPIT. You must wear a rain coat while crossing buses. If fine for spitting is implemented, Mamta Ma’m can give loan to Centre.
6. Offices start as early as 12 pm. Some people come early at 11.55 am. Besides talking about foot ball and politics, if possible, they work also. In between 4 tea breaks and 3 snack breaks are the order. Each office has 3 to 4 unions and elections are conducted every year for 11 months.
7. People eat sweets for food. If you know to make rasagulla and jilabi, come here. you can make a killing.
8. As the British forgot to take the Tram, its is still running on the roads without passengers.
9. When people gets bored, they hold a festival. I am seeing 10th pooja in my 5 months stay. Some one is always sitting on the trees to tie and untie the speakers.
10. ‘Mangal Sutra”, the instrument in which the south film industry hangs on, is not found here. I enquired one of my bengali friend. From that day he is not talking. Curiosity killed a friendship.
11. Jasmine and Kanahambaram are not seen in this part of the earth. No lady seems to wear any flower. For that sake, they don’t tie the hair even.
12. People talk, talk and talk. I wonder how they remain without talking for one and half years after birth! In talking, My friends here can beat women with hands down.
13. They talk so loud, I am getting echo now a days. Once I told my boss not to tell me twice.
14. Last week, When my colleagues were discussing some secret matter slowly, I attended a phone call from my wife. My wife immediately asked me “What are you doing in the railway station?”
15. Roads are always crowded. Every one on the road runs literally. If you have to ask for direction, you have to jog alongwith them. I don’t know why they could not produce good athletes.
16. People’s G.K is very good. When I asked for direction to East, twice they sent me towards west. As they are aware that the earth is round, They were sure that I will reach east invariably.
17. They are very proud people. When they collide with you on the road on step on you in the bus, they will never tell sorry. They feel it is their fundamental right.
18. My working area Kidderpur is famous for pick pockets. If I happen to touch hands with others, I count and check my fingers.
19. Any how Kolkata changed my selfish nature. Earlier I wanted to work in Tamil Nadu alone. Now I am ready to work any where other than Kolkata!